This blog has been created to discuss the topics covered in my book : Beyond Discouragement-Creativity.
My goal is to post relevant news articles which both reflect and refute my opinions and observations. As a visitor, your comments would be most appreciated. - Bienvenue. À vous la parole.

Friday, February 4, 2011

parents are not parents when they are nothing more than subservient providers

Is Your Teen Being Nice? Or does she just want something? - Anthony Wolf, psychologist - The Globe and Mail - Feb 04, 2011

What fascinates me most about parenting gurus is that they so often discuss topics of vehement behaviour by children as if these behaviours are acceptable. Mr Wolf implies in his article that a teenager who sweetly manipulates her mother to get a new dress one day and then schizophrenically tells her where to shove it the next, when asked to do chores, is "to be expected" teen behaviour. . .  Does he actually say so? NO. He implies it by choosing this example as a discussable "teen behaviour". If truth be told, such behaviour is an unhealthy self-centered attitude that is unacceptable in any child, teen or adult. It smacks of no conscience.  And sadly, such overlord expectations only grow in time due to no limits having been imposed upon a child from early on.  And, expecting that behaviour to change as children "mature" is ridiculous. You don't mature when you've been taught that you are the center of the universe and treating anyone and everyone badly is OK - just because you are rebelling. . . Telling your mother (or father) where to shove it is only "normal" behaviour when children and teens grow up in an environment where their "inner bully" is nurtured through a child-centered ambiance. This specialist would have more credibility if he focused his attentions on the bad parenting techniques which have been imposed on a whole generation of parents by pocket-book psychologists. In essence, bullying by teens is never healthy and should never be considered acceptable. Such behaviour has little if anything to do with the volatility of a normal teen. Children who have been taught early on to consider themselves royalty and their parents nothing more than providers are definitely NOT going to express healthy teen rebellion. Theirs will be a feeling of entitlement due to their exaggerated sense of importance.


  1. Absolutely agree! That kind of behavior in a teen is behavior that started when the child was 2 and should have been corrected then. Correcting behavior doesn't start when the child is a teen, it starts when they're toddlers. I think parents are lazy when the children are young and then afraid of their children when the child grows up. They want to be friends instead of parents who need to be teaching the child how to be in the world.